TO LOSE ONE AND GAIN ANOTHER. A BETTER.

Ok, so this is a very sensitive subject for me, but because I love Meghan so much I wanted to share a poem I wrote the other day. For those of you who don't know, my (other) best friend Heather was murdered in 2005. I was there the night they found her and it shook my whole world. My entire life has changed since that day.... for the worst at first and now over time I have healed (somewhat) and gained wisdom from my journey through all of it.


Writing poetry really helped me through the hard times. Most are just fragments of my mind and what sanity I had left. They aren't pretty frilly little poems that rhyme and make you feel good. They are harsh, disturbing and honest. It was the only way to expel the feelings I had inside that my body couldn't handle. I won't post any of them on here (unless you ask, nicely) but I got to thinking about what it means to have a best friend and how important it is to have someone in your life that you can rely on and lean on for support. To have someone who won't judge you no matter what you tell them or what you do. To have someone who loves you for you despite your flaws. I don't have a sister, so when Heather was alive she filled that void in my life. She was the closest thing to a sister I had then and when she was gone I felt that emptiness again. I distanced myself from everyone I knew, out of my own paranoia and for my own safety. I was very alone I didn't have that feeling satisfied until I met Meghan. Meghan and I had an instant bond, a special friendship that is rooted in love, our faith in God and so many other things that make us silly and quirky together. Ok. Enough with the sappy talk. Here is my poem for you BESTIE!

SISTERHEART

how could i have been so lucky?

to have someone like her, so genuine.

to lose one and to gain another seems a bit unfair to my heart.

It pains me, like i'm cheating or lesser of the survivor. 

but this one is far different, greater than any other.

she passes no judgement, no bias

and loves me for me and all my imperfections.

my true sister at heart.